This is an actual instant message conversation that I had today with my next-door neighbor. Names have been changed to protect the sane.
TheNeighbor: Hey how do I stick my tongue out at you
TheNiceLady: you need to find the drop down window for the smilies.
TheNiceLady: I can show you later. We’re going to go get eggs. And stuff.
TheNeighbor: eggs what kind of eggs, like chicken…..or human
TheNiceLady: gross. We’re getting sharks eggs 😛
TheNeighbor: hey….one’s gotta ask
TheNiceLady: and also platypus eggs and maybe an ostrich egg. To make pie crust.
okay? Nosy pants.
TheNeighbor: okay that’s scary
TheNiceLady: do you have some clean newspaper? I need packing material. The only box I have is too big.
TheNeighbor: disturbing question …why?
TheNiceLady: because I’m mailing an xmas gift to a friend. I can’t have the body rolling around too much. If the blood leaks out she’ll never get the package.
TheNeighbor: oh yeah, I think I might even have packing material let me look
TheNeighbor: okay that’s gross