Because we KNOW how to have fun!

Because we KNOW how to have fun!

Eustice is right there to look out for me. The fact that he also threatened to bite the phlebotomist if she didn’t get the vein on the first stick was a plus.


Who knew…


Eustice wanted us to stop the car so he could frolic on the rocks, but my Dad was driving.

whatcha been eating Santa?
Apparently Santa winters in Simi Valley and is a member of the same Masonic Lodge as my Dad. Also, he’s apparently not very Jolly when interrupted from eating his ice cream.


Eustice saw these while we were shopping. I haven’t had them in years. I know lots of people think they’re like lychee fruits but THEY’RE NOT. Why? Because I said so. Why? Okay fine… they’re not as squishy and I think lychee are disgustingly sweet.

Eustice sizing up a rambutan. It’s fun to say… try it!

can’t you hear him making yummeh sounds? He’s the rudest sometimes.

Eustice says they’re better than watermelon. Honestly… no comparison. Get some if you see them. You won’t be sorry because they’re fun to play with.

Does this hat make me look insane?
No. Of course not Eustice. You looked insane before the hat.


Also? If you throw them at people you can really freak them out.


We’re here! Yay!

Now I just have to fight the tired monster and write about all the places we’ve gone and people we’ve met.

Eustice and Juanita sing a duet.

Spring Migration

We’re going to move over to WordPress.  Eustice says all the cool bloggers are doing it, and it’s past time we did too. I know nothing about migrating posts or even setting up a WordPress site. This should be fun.

I just have to get writing… once we’re set up I’ll post our new address. Please plan on attending the blog-warming-party.

This is my Granddad. He would have liked everything about Eustice, except for his foul mouth.  Papa was a gentleman, slightly insane, but still a gentleman. 

This isn’t really a post.

I love my Merlin-dog… Even if he is sleeping with his eye open, which is creepy. Don’t look at that. His tongue won’t stay in his mouth because there are no teeth to keep it there. Who knew that your teeth are keeping your tongue in your mouth? Clearly not me. Isn’t he cute sleeping? Just say yes.

In Search of Beyonce (the rooster, not the singer)

We went back to visit Fat Pilgrim when they were open. The store owner was there and apparently was quite aware of the The Blogess’ adoption of the rooster now known as Beyonce. Of course she’d never met Eustice and despite being hopped up on drugs and probably drunk I didn’t have the courage to ask her to pose with Eustice (yes, he’s still pissed at me. Nothing like a pissed off mini-sheep).

Having already met the largest version of the rooster (and shame on me for not finding out the artists name) Eustice gravitated to the smallest version. Here they seem to be admiring this twig. They talked for a little while, there was much head-shaking on the part of the little rusted guy. I think maybe he’d never heard of Beyonce. The adventure continued…

Wonderfully small rusty rooster, My Prince says I cannot take you home with me. 

Clearly hoping that he could meet Beyonce I think Eustice engaged in some ill-advised behavior… 

Rooster: You sir are the smallest sheep I’ve ever seen.
Eustice: Hello then. Nice to meet you. Knock Knock Motherfucker?
Rooster: THE FUCK?!
Eustice: I said, “Knock Knock Motherfucker.”
Larger Rooster: …sputtering….
I think I heard the rooster say something about Eustice’s mother, but I cannot be sure. Eustice says he doesn’t want to talk about it. What happened next happened so fast that there was no way I could photograph it with my cell phone. This was the result: 
I had no idea that Eustice had martial arts training. 
The crate is for your protection, not his. 

Apparently not all of Beyonce’s relatives share his sense of humor. It also explains this:

I am sincerely glad that Eustice did not try this conversation with the 12 foot version! Or if he did, bless the wind for keeping him from being heard!

…which just proves, yet again, that you cannot take us anywhere.


We took a road trip to attend a wedding in Sonoma. Eustice loves to crash weddings; but, we’ll have to write more about that later.

What’s more important is that as we were driving down the road to find the hotel I spotted something amazing. I shrieked at my Prince… “PULL IN RIGHT HERE!”

My seriously freaked out Prince pulls into the driveway. How could he not have seen a 12 foot tall rooster?!

Eustice is on the rooster’s right shoulder, look closely! 

Eustice and a new friend. 

could it be??

They were closed.

Of course we had to go back when they were open. I hope you’ll come back to hear the rest of the story. I promise I’ll write it!

Sheep Crashes High School Reunion

The only thing that Eustice likes more than meeting new people is a good party. So he was really looking forward to my Prince’s 30th High School Reunion. He just had to get in on the group photo… 

The King is a little unsure of Eustice’s motives.
Just go along with it Dave. Eustice doesn’t usually bite. 

Eustice also got to meet some celebrities last night. He’d had some shots of something called Blackout with my Prince and wandered off mid-party. I don’t know where he went or what he did, but that’s why there aren’t too many pictures. He says he’s not talking but from the way he looks and how close he’s hovering to the coffee pot this morning I’m guessing he actually doesn’t remember WHAT he did.

Famous D.J. Richard Blade was thrilled to meet Eustice.

Eustice says he tried talking to Richard about scuba diving lessons, but it was really loud. I’m not sure how that went, but I’m not paying for it. I told Eustice if he wants to start taking courses like that he’s going to have to get a JOB. 
He also met the Mother of a past contestant of America’s Next Top Model and current contestant of their All Stars show. I wish I could remember her name, she was very nice lady. Eustice says that I should say that she’s not as nice as me which is why he calls me The Nice Lady. 
The first thing he said he noticed about her was the size of her diamond. At one point he whispered to me that he was quite sure it would not fit in his mouth. I really have no idea what he was thinking… but I will be sure to put any jewelry with stones well out of his reach from now on. 
We visited with her for quite a while during dinner, and shamefully I’ve forgotten her name. Because I forget everything, and I really must learn to take notes. She is an immensely proud mama of three girls and a little boy. As proud as she is of all her beautiful children, it’s very clear that she values intelligence more than beauty. She told Eustice and I more than once that beauty is fleeting but stupid can last forever. Eustice, with a moist eye, said she reminded him of his Mom. 
Memories of his Mom on his mind or not… that did NOT stop him from getting a good look down her shirt. 
Eustice has mind control abilities. How else could he get so many women to put him so close to their breasts? 
We still have the rest of our train trip to Seattle to tell you about plus a few intermediate adventures. We’ve been visiting way too many doctors lately. 

How we leave on a train trip and forget everything…

We took Eustice on a train trip from Southern California to Seattle, Washington. It was lovely… just the right pace for a Spoonie like The Nice Lady.

We met some nice people, one horribly rude person, at least one person with NO sense of humor, and amused our selves by tweeting @Amtrak_CA while traveling by rail. We saw parts of three states we might not have seen otherwise. I was so entertained by watching the scenery glide by that little knitting got done. Well… that and, you’ll see…

Eustice at Union Station in Downtown LA

Princess Charming (a.k.a. my sister-in-law) drove us to Union Station… and thinking that we were very clever we used Google Navigator in our fancy new Android phone! And do you know that it doesn’t know the difference between the Union Rescue Mission  aka Skid Row and Union Station? I didn’t either! So that was an interesting little, ahem, side trip.

We get there, negotiate the issues of parking of car (far away, up a hill thankyouverymuch) and bringing in baggage (drop off Eustice, myself and luggage while they go park car providing this great photo op time). And then we go inside to check our big bag. As we get to the front of the very short line Our Prince Charming realizes that he has left his wallet, containing his ID, on his dresser. Which is at home. Our train is leaving in 20 minutes. My first thought is that maybe we can take a later train after we go back home, get them, skip going to Skid Row a second time and come back to the train station.

Bless the sweet woman behind the counter and the fates that guided us to her! She notices that Our Prince’s backpack is desert camo and embroidered with the U.S. Army Reserve logo. She asks if he’s in the Reserves. Yes. Does he have his dog tags? OMG YES! In the backpack! Between my military ID showing I’m his spouse and his dog tags she checks us in! I later gleefully tweet about it with #fuckthetsa. I sure love me someone that can use common sense!

Still, we will need his wallet once we get to Washington. I shove a fistfull of twenty dollar bills at Princess Charming who keeps assuring us that it’s NO PROBLEM to go back to our place, get the wallet and fed-ex it to the friends we will be staying with. She walks out with us right to the train (did I mention I hate the TSA because they’re stupid?), because she wants to see the train more of the station, which has been refurbished nicely, and also see the train. It’s kinda fun.

Eustice gets settled in.

We upgraded from coach seats to a Roomette the larger accommodations are even nicer, and I dearly would have loved the ability to lay down AND look out the window, but this worked out.

Eustice tries out my seat. 

Look at the above photo and towards the left you can see the Los Angeles River. The tracks run parallel to the river through many areas and I saw so many things that I wish I could have captured with the camera. Most of them had to do with people who are making their homes (illegally) along the river. One image that has stayed with me was a man washing up standing on an island of debris in the middle of the river. He had shorts on, and what appeared to be bottles of shampoo and soap with him.

Eustice helps me eat my brie and fruit filled salad.
Helping save my Prince from the evils of potato crisps.

We had our lunch in the parlor car, a great perk of having sleeping accommodations…   In the meantime The Princess had taken care of shipping off the wallet. She called to tell me that it would get to our friends house almost a day before we do.

Lunch was wonderful. The menu in the parlor car is limited but fancy and delicious!

And then we went back to our private little room and watched Southern California go by…

Cows running away from the train, you’d think they’d be used to it. But Eustice says cows are dumb.

A hawk or possibly a turkey vulture, I’m not sure. We saw a lot of wildlife and at one point I was positive I saw a mountain lion laying down in the scrub grass. 

The person tweeting for Amtrak_CA recommended we check out the wine and cheese tasting so when they announced it we made our way back to the parlor car and made our first new friends.

 Hazel and her daughter (I wish I could remember her name, Mary?) who were taking a train trip across most of the country on their way to a big family reunion/pow wow. When the daughter was a teen she was Princess of her tribe (the name of which I have also forgotten, I really must learn to write things down… everything oozes out of my whiffle ball brain).

Eustice kisses a real  (native American) Indian Princess

About half-way through the second glass of wine we discover that one of the runners up for last year’s asshole of the year competition is also on our train! Lucky us!

wine please…

As the host is telling us about the wonderful wine we’re drinking this jerk sitting in the booth right next to the host takes a phone call and begins talking loudly. The host, who has a melodious voice, begins to attempt to speak over him. But Mr. Rude just talks louder. Apparently the person sitting next to him doesn’t know him but he’s stood up to let him get up from his chair so he can go take the call down the stairs to a quieter area. But Mr. Rude just ignores all of this. He has important things he needs someone named Stewart to know.

really good cheese.

The host gives up talking and simply stands there.  I’m fairly sure I saw him roll his eyes. There are at least 20 people all waiting for Mr. Rude to get off the phone. Only he KEEPS TALKING. A few people loudly ask him to take the call out of the room or get off the phone. He keeps telling the person on the phone to tell this and that to Stewart. Eustice tells me to make sure that he also doesn’t forget to tell Stewart that we all love him now. So I yell out “Tell Stewart we love him!” My Prince shakes his head, and someone laughs. And Mr. Rude keeps on talking. When he finally gets off the phone someone loudly says “What a JERK.” And then the host resumes his talk. Best. Host. Ever.

Shortly after this My Prince realizes that he forgot our garment bag. This is where he packed our clothes for the wedding we are making this trip to attend. My Prince goes from relaxed to panic mode in a blink.  This activates my fixer super-power (it’s annoying usually, ask anyone that has happened to mentioned a problem near me). I immediately text his sister who calls me back. Mortified that the phone has rung I leap up and try to run to the stairs and am almost thrown to the floor by the lurch of the train (note to self: do not leap anywhere on a moving train).

She and my Mother in Law are getting their hair done. This means that she’s almost an hour from our place. It’s already after 2 pm but she swears it’s NO PROBLEM to go back to our place, shove my dress and most of The Prince’s suit into a small box and have it sent to us before the shipping store closes. This will no doubt cost quite a bit, but is cheaper than having to buy new. See why she’s Princess Charming? Our clothes will also arrive in Washington before us!

And that’s how we started out our trip by forgetting stuff. Next time I’ll tell you about how I managed to spend the rest of this leg of the trip looking like I had a head injury.